Friday, October 14, 2011

Why Conservatives are Assholes

There is a reason that we have a clear geographic distinction between liberals and conservatives. Generally speaking, the blue states in the northeast, west coast, and great lakes are all centered around port cities. Historically, people in and around port cities were constantly exposed to different kinds of people and new ideas, whereas those in the red states of Middle America have historically been culturally stagnant. This has created a strong sense of traditionalism in these areas that keeps the people clinging to the moral values of the past. Now, there are some who would say newer is not always better, but if we look at our nation's history, look at the women's movement, the civil rights movement, these things that were new ideas that met with the nearly insurmountable force of traditionalist backlash, we can recognize the pattern of people coming to the realization that those archaic beliefs were simply wrong. Oppression of women and people of color has been the norm for millennia, but more and more every day, we see the rights of blacks and women as inalienable. Our children are no longer taught to believe that bigotry against these groups are okay, yet we still largely accept the same sort of bigotry against homosexuals. If a woman or an African American were denied benefits for their family from their employer simply due to their gender or the color of their skin, we would be outraged, yet this happens every day to the homosexual citizens of our nation.

The largest opposition to homosexuals is made on religious grounds. Thousands of years ago, in the time before Jesus of Nazareth brought his beliefs of love and peace to the masses, religion was a necessary form of government. The ten commandments were laws that kept the Jewish people alive and functioning as a burgeoning society. The commandment against killing and stealing kept the people from turning on each other. The encouragement of fidelity in marriage served as population control. The Jews ate Kosher because pork and shellfish, in those days, could not be preserved and prepared properly to keep them from getting sick. Education as we know it did not exist; hardly anybody could read; organized religion was an essential tool in teaching the people how to live together and prosper. Modern society has rendered religion as unnecessary.

Nobody knows the truth of where we came from and how a world in such perfect harmony came to be, but we do know that the Bible was written and compiled by men. It was the Nicene Council that established the Holy Trinity, creating the acceptance of Jesus as an incarnation of God. Their organizer, Constantine, chose which books made it into what we know as the Bible. This was over 300 years after the death of Christ; who can say if they got it right? The most diehard of Christians believe that Earth is only 6,000 years old, and that the dinosaurs never existed. Polls show that about half of the people in our country are creationists, but that number drops steeply with their length of education; what does that tell you? Religion has long outlived its usefulness to our culture, and the ignorance it promotes is dangerous to our advancement.

That's not to say that all conservatives are naive ruralites. The other side of the spectrum is your average capitalist fat-cat. These folks, through luck and opportunity, have acquired wealth and wish to hold onto it by any means possible. They pander to the ignorant, pretending to share their beliefs to retain their own power. They believe in "small government," because the big, liberal government interferes with them profiting from the sweat and labor of the poor. They believe in Capitalism because it gives them an excuse to be ruthless in hoarding all the wealth and power for themselves. They demonize anyone who don't share their beliefs as "communists," which, in itself, is an example of the way they use war as a PR campaign, through indoctrination and fear tactics, to persuade the ignorant to give them more power.

I'm not saying that every educated conservative is consciously evil or manipulative, but that, again, these beliefs are ingrained in them by a misguided belief in the
power of tradition. The sincere educated conservative is a patsy who, even in the face of rational argument, allows outdated social views to tint their perspective of the world. Whether they are verbose or not, they cannot help but judge others by their warped moral compass, and thus stand in the way of social progress.

That brings an end to my dissertation on why conservatives are assholes. Join me next time for "Why I Hate the Troops."

Sent from my iPhone


  1. "Why I Hate the Troops" - did someone really say that in public?

  2. Maybe you should re-title this post "Why Liberals are Neurotic?"

  3. Wow, you waited a whole year to post...this? Such groundbreaking original thought; you should have sent it to Harpers. I'm sorry the State Police made you clean up the World War II Memorial.

    Time is running out! 
    Don't miss this fantastic insane opportunity!
    Just think...You too can experience the WASTE REFUSE of local VAGRANTS, ADDICTS SHOOTING and SNORTING UP DRUGS right next door, THUNDEROUS TRUCKS UNLOADING PRODUCE and ENGINES RUNNING 24/7 outside your window!!
    With NO VEGETATED SPACE, NO PLANNED BENEFICIAL GROWTH, NO INNOVATION, and NOTHING NEW AT ALL, this "sustainable" development is sure to dig the ruts further and deeper than ever before into same-old same-old bland and boring ground; but hey, WHO REALLY CARES!!
    Hurry, because LUXURY LOFTS are in such hot demand in these ECONOMICALLY STRESSED times that this opportunity won't last long.  This is just what this City needs to bring YOUNG, WELL-EDUCATED, ENERGETIC people EXCITING OPPORTUNITIES - a simple, non-inventive, uncreative use for an amazingly opportunistic space.
    Because there aren't already OVER 4500 RESIDENTIAL BUILDINGS waiting to be repaired, and $2200-$6000 PER MONTH is affordable in this BLIGHTED AREA.
    Get in on the action while you still can!

  5. Republicans are Idiots and arguing with them is a waste of time. Religion is the last refuge for scoundrels. And this is a great post don't let these fools bother you.

  6. Are you still living in Trenton? Will you be updating this blog anymore? Just curious as I see it linked on quite a few other Trenton-related blogs I follow.

  7. As above! Great post.

  8. Thanks for this Tracy, I think you have it in a nutshell.

  9. Hi,

    I have a quick question about your blog, do you think you could e-mail me?


  10. and yet i think none of you live in a state that is mainly conservative. You make it sound like all conservative are angry middle-elderly men that are completely opposed to change. there are people like this, but what about a conservative isolationist who does not want our country burying itself in debt by involving itself in everyone's affairs? or the small business owner who is being heavily affected by the regulations put on business intended to control larger scale corporations? what about the neutral minded independent voter that has more conservative business values but a liberal mindset on social issues being grouped in the extremist left or right when he himself is neither one nor the other. or the person who doesnt blindly follow what his congressman or president has to say but rather believes there is no simple answers to complex problems. everyone wants a simple solution, but there is no such thing. saying you are liberal or conservative is like saying you are one of 2 extremes.

  11. @DietchyPeach

    I think the misapprehension that you’re laboring under is that small government is somehow fiscally conservative. The truth is that there are certain things that are done more cheaply and effectively as a community. Obamacare is a great example of this, as it’s using the legislative power of the government and the purchasing power of Medicare to drive down the INSANE costs associated with healthcare in this country. By putting more money into consumers’ pockets this way, we are boosting our economy.

    The problem with your argument is that, these days, a socially liberal fiscal conservative is not considered a viable candidate for any major Republican ticket. What you get instead are the Bushes and the Romneys of the world, who are billionaires on the side of big business, and are willing to say or do anything to get the right to elect them. Their sole goal in life is to reduce taxes on the rich and reduce aid to the poor. Without social programs, we cannot break the cycle of poverty (poor people born into poor neighborhoods with no opportunity), and the American Dream is destroyed. That’s how you get the 99%.

    If you don’t want a country “burying itself in debt by involving itself in everyone’s affairs,” I suggest you take a moment to remember that we’ve been in combat with the Middle East for over 10 years at the behest of a “conservative” Texas oil billionaire. The United States spends more on “defense” than the next 13 countries combined, and a large part of that is operation “Iraqi Freedom;” Bush left the exit strategy up to his successor. After 9/11, Bush sent tens of thousands of troops into (Afghanistan) Iraq to exact revenge on (Osama Bin Laden) Saddam Hussein. Obama actually got the job done with just a handful of Special Ops…

  12. Government should be transparent, effective, efficient, compassionate, and cheap. Right now it's none of the above. At least it's better than it was when Monkeyface was in office..

  13. As usual, the people of the world fail due to the same sociological, political, ecomical and ethical debates. If it was up to me and possible I would reset every single person on the planets mindset.

    Simple fact number 1, as long as there is an anti-science movement, mankind will be intellectually stagnant and scientific progress will remain slow, as such the economy will remain slow due to a lack of employment caused by new technological breakthroughs.

    Simple fact number 2, thanks to decades of hoarding, stupidity through qusi-communist (Because the late Soviet Union and the present Peoples Republic of China aren't actually communist, but in fact they are extreme socialist as historically Karl Marx planned for communism to be system where there is no political leadership and everyone is comunity-minded helping eachother with no strings attached, excuse the micro-rant) and corruption across the globe the world economy is in tatters, If you fixed the inflation of currancies like the Russian Rouble and Zimbabwee Dollar, stopped corrupt Afican governments from hoarding money, deleted the virtual debt caused by the stock exchanges where they flaunt money they technically don't own and dismantled the Eurozone then rebuilt it carefully after raiding the Tax haven nations then maybe the global economy would work properly

    Simple fact number 3, if we removed or better yet merged the three faiths causing chaos in the world, Christianity, Islam and Judaism then the world might finally be in a better state than it is presently. It would theoretically work to merge the three as they share similar charitaristics, you would need to remove undesired parts like the Anti-birth control (thanks Roman Catholic Christians) the insistance of non-pork and Kosher food (we get it Judaism, you needed to ban it at the time but pork is safer now) and the ending of sexist stance and the anti-alcohol stance (Islam you have to understand that women are equal to men, anatomically the only difference is in genetalia, also you should learn to enjoy yourselves have a bit of alcohol and live a little) in short merging them and teaching tolerance instead of saying my version of the same God is better than yours.

    And with that my rant is over and if per chance you feel offended then remember this, I am only human and as such my opinion should mean nothing to you and anyone else reading my comment as it doesn't require a single individual to change the world but loads of individuals with similar opinions brave enough to face the challenge of fixing this world as the current debates of immigration. taxes, war and intolerance are so circular and petty when everything falls apart because we didn't consider fixing the causes of these debates as they destroy our civilisation

  14. WoW... I could hardly handle the awesome reason behind this genius leftist mind. I almost changed party affiliation. Conservatives are A-holes because we believe in God and Capitalism. Remember when Liberals are smart enough to grow up, they become Conservatives.

  15. This country would be in a much better state if conservatives and liberals would work together toward a common goal, rather than sneer at each other and bicker like petty grade schoolers. I suppose it's too much to expect from "the land of the free and the home of the brave". Oh yes, very brave. Mocking each other, holding grudges, spreading misinformation and sensationalism. Miserable.